Cruisers and Hotdogs

June 15th, 2006

as my nostrils fLared themseLves out of exhaustion, i smeLLed the heavy raspberry aLcohoL. mucked and tired, watching oprah’s biography on tv and i’d siLenced it. decided to be wearing off my boredom over Sitti. a paragraph coming out of an empty brain whiLe i stiLL try to sit and forcefuLLy let words come out of my mind aLthough it’s quite evident, everything i’m writing about is pLain nonsense. i’m fLoating, and i’m thinking hard. lately, hearing out a heavy confession from a very, very good friend… my worLd turned over to be in an array of confusion (tattoed in my mind — it is!) it’s a reaLity that stops my minute and cLouds my senses. i am not feeLing being the weird fooL but haLf of what my eyesight couLd reach smiLes with approvaL whiLe my heart feeLs the heavy burden of guiLt. i keep what i think is worth grabbing for but i am so afraid. i’d rather sink my lips over the mint tea’s aroma than hit my head hard enough to shake off what my lone piLgrimage has offered me. i’d venture out, i’d seek what my hearts been missing and what my pride’s hoLding. i am not vindictive, i just want to know what the meaning of PAUSE is.