char!

May 25th, 2006

my eyes grew fiery…woke up this morning as the hand struck at 4. nothing much to say but about the actuaL bursting of my confused brain just like my bLoated tummy. i waLk like a headLess bum, i laugh like a gratified fooL. a mangLed hobo, a pretentious actress… i am these things, i feeL this way today. i tapped my fingers on this coLd work tabLe, but nothing changes the anxiety in me. breathing with certainty but ponders on when and what and why. just leave me be. for a whiLe, give me time to be myseLf, just let me taLk, let me grouch, leave me mute and impassive. i am a bLank___a misdemeanor, an underhand gift. i state things as if they’re unending, my thoughts are my own echo. but i am not devaLuing myseLf. i maybe the meaning of mayhem and i am the atypicaL me. i prefer cLouded by different minds, in ways that i couLd then hide and be comfortabLe just seeing their endLess arguments.