Crazy night. Crazy news. Heavy heart. Heavy head. At least it's Saturday, I'll pounce ahead.

The thing that I wanted most right now is to have someone to talk to and shut me off the craze that my mind is getting me into. It kind of awed me when I was able to compose things by myself. I see tons of opportunities piling up in front of me, but I really don’t know if I have the heart for any of it right now. Looking back, I’d see me stuffing myself with worthless desires; it has blinded my imagination and it has blinded my being.

What do I really want?

I love the feel of after-baths; one that gives you the light chill; makes you feel clean and taut; in fact it sucks up the moisture from your skin.

I love playing the same music twice or thrice or until my eardrums give up and I’d get to pick up the first two stanzas of a song.

I love seeing myself with things that I love.
Books in which half of them is unread.
Stuffed toys in which one of them gets handled only once a week; probably because I’m cleaning their spots or just because.
Expensive perfumes, just so that I can have one.
These are mostly things that I’ve missed out not too long ago but having them are empty realizations.

I’d be baffled; I was a ball of ideas. I’ve missed that person too.

I miss having to talk with old people. They know too much. But I can beat them in using what technology offers nowadays. At least some of them I can. I say they know too much but they don’t. But what I admire from them is living the simplicity of life. Our elders berate every stupid action we take. They frown upon our senseless decisions and no matter how much we try to make our point with them, we think that they’d never understand us and I think they never will. Maybe they know too much but I think they don’t. Maybe they do but they only refuse to concede it. It could be because of guilt, denial or they avoid getting hurt.

I am an impulsive teenage adult. Too eager to grow up and do away with things.

Truth is; I want to live my life as perfect as it could be. Be it in the company of pain or ecstasy. I don’t care, just as long as when I look back, I’d have no regrets. I’ll duck from a few slings and will battle with my greatest fears.

I am always scared to hell but I don’t want to hamper myself for I want to know that in the end, I’d be happy. We live, we breathe, we laugh, we make friends, we cry, we suffer. Everything is because of life. For all we know, it’s just life.